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Posted by: Pat Garvey Jan 31 2009, 09:23 PM

Yesterday morning, I opened the garage to go to work. My daily driver is parked perpetually outside. The Porsches & the wife's Milan are inside.

Go down the driveway to get the newspaper, throw it inside & a Robin flies in the garage! Late for work - gotta go. Phone the wife & tell her about - she freaks, but manages to get in her car & go to work. Tell her to turn the security system off & leave the garage open.

Come home from work & the stupid bird, after having the entire day to leave, is still flopping all over the garage (what is dumber than a bird?). It's flopping & flying & shitting on everything in the garage (yes, it got the 914). All my efforts with a broom only provoked it to shit & puke on everything (911 too). Whacked it good with abroom & it fell behind my storage shelves (no mans land). So, I thought - OK, tomorrow morning I'll just find some way to dig out the carcass & clean up. Next morning, as I go to work, the stupid bird is banging & shitting off every wall, cieling, etc again. Closed all the doors & wished it dead - got my wish. But, where did it croak. It's really cold right now, so I wasn't worried about stench. But, where did it croak!

Now, I have been slowly getting back into working on the cleanup of my 914. It's 75% covered, except for the engine bay, which is open since I'm replacing all the fuel injection rubber boots. So, where did the bird go to die? You guessed it! The one of many places it could have gone - under the cover & into the engine compartment! That's right - dead bird on the motor, complete with its death throws of crapping on everything!

This will have to wait until spring!

Could have been worse - coulda been a goose.
Pat

ps - why does this shit happen to ME?!

Posted by: heavydriver Jan 31 2009, 09:30 PM

Posted by: Pat Garvey Jan 31 2009, 09:41 PM

What! You want pics of the dead bird - in a trash bag, or you want pic's of bird crap?

I can do it, but I fished the bird out of the engine poste-haste.

Want pics of bird crap on every car but the wife's (don't understand that!)?

Posted by: sendjonathanmail Jan 31 2009, 09:58 PM

Funny stuff Pat, I agree a pic is needed.

Posted by: J P Stein Jan 31 2009, 10:18 PM

No, damnit, we want a video.

Posted by: sixnotfour Jan 31 2009, 10:22 PM

Posted by: scotty b Jan 31 2009, 10:24 PM

sounds like maybe the bird had a fish sandwich

Posted by: Gint Jan 31 2009, 10:25 PM

Holy crap!

Posted by: ericread Jan 31 2009, 10:32 PM

I think I'd just like to see a picture of you looking at the bird crap... or dodging the psychotic bird!

Eric

Posted by: heavydriver Feb 1 2009, 12:05 AM

Maybe just a feather, for posterity.

Posted by: underthetire Feb 1 2009, 01:53 AM

I just fell off my chair

Posted by: BarberDave Feb 1 2009, 04:24 AM

Funny; some of us have nicknames for our cars! 2 come to

mind! Robin or OH Shit . any one with others???? Dave

Posted by: Spoke Feb 1 2009, 05:22 AM

No good deed goes unpunished. Bird killer.

Posted by: mikez Feb 1 2009, 06:48 AM

Ya shoulda tossed hot coffee at it.....

Posted by: Wanna9146 Feb 1 2009, 08:34 AM

A Milan?

http://www.mercuryforum.com/forum_topics.asp?FID=27

Posted by: J P Stein Feb 1 2009, 09:27 AM

It's time to buy stock in a Q tip compny.

Posted by: 9146986 Feb 1 2009, 10:06 AM

I had a similar problem with birds getting in my shop last summer. Although I've got a/c, I don't run it unless it's just too damn hot, so I keep the two overhead doors open and an exhaust fan running.

I kept getting hummingbirds in the shop, and I had a hell of a time getting them out. The only thing that semi worked, was to leave the doors open until after sundown. When the sun sets, it's lighter outside than inside the shop and I think (sometimes) they'd find their way out.

Had three of them die in there. They'd light on a rafter up near the top of the building, and you can't see them, let alone get at them. One of them was a mature male too. The ruby red feathers on his throat were the most amazing irradescent red/copper color. Bummed me out.

Posted by: mikez Feb 1 2009, 10:12 AM

Wouldn't a hummingbird feeder just outside the shop keep them from coming in?

Posted by: Wanna9146 Feb 1 2009, 11:14 AM

Posted by: mikez Feb 1 2009, 11:17 AM

I have one of those....be careful, you'll put yer eye out.....

Posted by: Eric_Shea Feb 1 2009, 04:12 PM

Better make sure you get all the crap up now. It "will" ruin your paint. Robin's, this time of year, often eat berrys. Highly acidic and it will do damage if left on a long time.

Posted by: RJMII Feb 1 2009, 05:19 PM

Should wash off easily with brake fluid...

Posted by: r_towle Feb 1 2009, 06:36 PM

I get birds in my barn all the time.
I like them. They are little chickadees, no problem with them shitting in the barn..they get tired by the time I get in there.
I gently shooo them out with a rake towards the bid doors...they finally get it...some are more dumb than others though...

Rich

Posted by: Eric_Shea Feb 1 2009, 07:47 PM

I see "someone" is feeling their oats!

Posted by: J P Stein Feb 1 2009, 07:51 PM

No,no....you gotta get after them with a broom....I think yelling may help.... then they shit a lot. Iff'n you do it just right they will die in a kamikaze shit storm in your contours engine bay. Be sure to get a vid.

Posted by: r_towle Feb 1 2009, 07:56 PM

Im out...concours engine bay just plain rules me out of the game.

Rich

Posted by: maf914 Feb 2 2009, 03:22 PM

My car is Malaga red, which a solid dark red color. Years ago a bird deposited some berry-laden poop on my front hood and I apparently didn't get it off soon enough, because it left a couple of purplish stains in the paint. Not too noticable, but permanent.

Posted by: Eric_Shea Feb 2 2009, 03:42 PM

What I've noticed with bird shit is... it seems to "raise" the paint a bit. The terminology doesn't work well because things like raised or lifted mean other things in paint-world but... it's almost like the paint can swell up underneath it.

Posted by: Pat Garvey Feb 2 2009, 08:36 PM

No hot coffee, but when it landed on a ladder, I threw an entire glass of Jack Daniel's on it!(please forgive me!) It made the damned bird even more hyper, and even shittier!

I'm not joking here - the bird (a Robin) shit more than it's body wieght in a 36 hour period! On top of everything else, I just noticed tonight that it shit in the bowl of my favorite Savinelli! How do you clean that?

With gloves donated my a member here, as well as monster Q-tips from the same, I've cleaned up the 914 motor. But there is still shit everywhere! And my pipe! How do I make that smokeable again?

This isn't the first time I've had a problem with varmints in my garage either, though this the messiest.

Six or 7 years ago, on a cool late October aftenoon, my neighbor's 16 year old son rang the bell & told me that three skunks just ran into my garage. Yes, I leave my garage doors open until it gets really cool.

So, I went out to see what the deal was. Yep, young pups/kits had decided to roost in my garage. Cute little buggers. So, I gingerly tried to invite them to leave, which they weren't inclined to do. First, they hunkered down en massee under the 911. I made some prodding movements with the bird broom, hoping to get them to run outside. They ran, but underneath my workbench!

Hoping to scare them with 911 "rev-forever arrogance", I fired up the T. Revved & revved, with no effect & pulled it out onto the driveway. Did the same with the 914 and the wife's Passat, so they'd have wide open range to run through. Nope, the little buggers stayed huddled in a familial ball under he workbench.

At this time, the neighbors' son came over to help & we put a plan together. I would spray some carb cleaner behind the bench & be ready with the broom. He would act as a roustabout to herd them out of the garage. Hell, they weren't much more than babies. Should be easy...right?

So I did my carb cleaner thing & started rooting with the bird broom. They didn't like it, but were more than willing to move on. Only problem was - the kid was in the way! Oh, they came out. Cute little buggers, almost petlike. Except there were five of them!

I'm swatting with the bird broom. The kid's freaking. Thepups/kits, on the way out of the garage unleashed on him. I had assumed they were too young to do that. Bad mistake! He took the full brunt of thier wrath as they left! It's funny now, but that poor kid really got it good! Yeah, the little skunks were gone, but he was dumbfounded. Stripped right down to full nudity right there & we threw his clothes in the trash. Funny!

Bought him new clothes & a gas card for his help, but he was never quite as friendly again.

Posted by: Eric_Shea Feb 2 2009, 08:40 PM

He shit in your bowl?!?!

I'd burn it out and see if it does anything for ya...

Posted by: Pat Garvey Feb 2 2009, 08:50 PM

Uhh, I'm not that brave! It's soaking night now in vodka (cheap stuff). Won't do much for the finish, but it was a lost cause anyway. We'll see!

I smoked worse in my fraternity pledge period! Believe me!

But the next semester I got even with the banana-in-the toilet routine. Sorry, this was a hijack.
Pat

Posted by: boxstr Feb 2 2009, 09:44 PM

ps - why does this shit happen to ME?! KARMA



CCL

Posted by: orthobiz Feb 3 2009, 08:47 AM

1. The reason we want pictures is so we can POST THEM when you try to (ever) sell you cars. Blackmail...

2. Time to stop smoking, even a pipe, it's supposed to be bad for you.

3. Glad those big Q-tips finally came in handy!!! Remember, tell me when you run out.

Paul

Posted by: Thomas J Bliznik Feb 7 2009, 11:52 AM

Hi Pat,

I never laughed so hard, I know it's funny, but on a serious note, I feel your pain. Hope you got it cleaned up.

I've been away for a long time & this is a classic.

Tom
BTW: Feed them outside & they cooperate (see photo).


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Posted by: 6freak Feb 8 2009, 10:43 PM

If he did it that way ..not only would he have crap everywhere he would have broken glass and holes in all his cars and walls