OT - I forgot how much it sucks to put a dog down, A positive one year update on an old thread. |
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OT - I forgot how much it sucks to put a dog down, A positive one year update on an old thread. |
bigkensteele |
Sep 6 2012, 10:03 PM
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#1
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Major Member Group: Members Posts: 2,197 Joined: 30-August 04 From: Cincinnati, OH Member No.: 2,660 Region Association: South East States |
We weren't even looking for a dog when she came to us. She was a blue healer (Australian cattle dog), and a friend of the family had taken her in from the Humane Society as a work dog, as he worked horses on a ranch in the Carolinas. They told him that she had been abused and abandoned.
She ended up being a horrible herder, but a great pet. He didn't need a pet, so he brought her to my parents' house on Christmas day, 2001 in the hopes that my folks would take her, as they had recently lost a great old German shepherd. They were also recently retired and really didn't want another dog at that stage. My wife and I arrived a little later, and I see KD and ask who she belongs to as I lean down to greet her. She damn near barreled me over, and she is only 35 pounds. As I am petting her, the friend says that she is ours if we want her. Now, my wife was 7 months pregnant with our first child and not really a big fan of dogs larger than a dust mop, but she saw her in my lap and just how much love that dog had in her heart, and she said, "We'll take her". We brought her home and she never barked once until two months later when we brought our daughter home from the hospital. If there was knock on the door or the doorbell rang, she went nuts. She was the most protective and affectionate dog I have ever met. My daughters are now 10 and 6, and the dog is probably 15 or older. For the first few years, KD wasn't much more than a moving piece of furniture to them. She stood by and watched over them protectively, but they didn't interact much. However, over the last three or four years, my oldest daughter, Harper, had developed a great love for KD, and they had become the best of friends. She stopped eating earlier this week. She would often go a day without eating, but never three. She had been in a state of decline for the last few months, but it had accelerated rapidly over the last few weeks. So, my wife took her to the vet this afternoon, and they did blood work, x-rays and and ultrasound. She had a mass on her spleen the size of a softball. Surgery was an "option", but it wouldn't have bought her much time, if she lived through it. I had to have my first dog put down on my 19th birthday, and I couldn't handle it, so my brother stayed with her. I'm 43 now, and have lived through the loss of grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., but I had never had to make the decision that a living being should live or die and stay with them while it was carried out. So, Libby and the girls said their good-byes, and I knew in my heart that I owed it to this beautiful girl to comfort her in her final moments, just as she had been a comforting soul by my side for the last 10 years. So I stayed with KD through the end, and it was one of the most, if not the most painful experiences of my life, and I have had a few. Sorry for the downer. I know that losing a dog is not the end of the world, and pales in comparison to the losses that many here have experienced. I just needed to get it out of my head and into written form. KD and her best friend... |
stugray |
Mar 18 2016, 10:03 AM
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#2
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 3,825 Joined: 17-September 09 From: Longmont, CO Member No.: 10,819 Region Association: None |
I'm 43 now, and have lived through the loss of grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., but I had never had to make the decision that a living being should live or die and stay with them while it was carried out. So I stayed with KD through the end, and it was one of the most, if not the most painful experiences of my life, and I have had a few. I am sorry to say, but I totally understand this now. Yesterday I had to put down our Australian cattle dog "molly" that we had raised from a puppy pound rescue. She was only 11 but had completely lost her sight in the last ~6 months. We had to carry her to the yard to use the bathroom because she could no longer navigate the back steps. We couldn't let her roam the house or yard any longer because she kept getting "stuck" in dangerous places like behind the stack of ladders in the back yard. we had to lock her up almost all the time because of the dangers of letting her roam free. She had come close to poking her eye out from walking into things. The part that hurts the most is that I was the "alpha-male" of the family to her. She respected me, looked up to me, TRUSTED me, and loved me. And I feel awful for being the one to make the decision to put her down. I guess the worst part is that we had no way of explaining what was happening to her as the vet administered the shots. I have had other pets die, and even watched as my childhood Doberman died in a long painful drawn out period of suffering. However that was "nature taking it's course", When you make the decision to put down a living thing that trusts you without question it is heart-wrenching. It is hard to reconcile on one had "it is better for the dog now" and "she trusted you unconditionally with her life and this is how you repay her?" on the other hand. I almost chickened out and told the vet to stop, but my teenage daughter was with us and I figured that doing this more than once would just make it worse. Goodbye Molly - we loved you. |
bigkensteele |
Mar 18 2016, 10:54 PM
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#3
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Major Member Group: Members Posts: 2,197 Joined: 30-August 04 From: Cincinnati, OH Member No.: 2,660 Region Association: South East States |
I'm 43 now, and have lived through the loss of grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., but I had never had to make the decision that a living being should live or die and stay with them while it was carried out. So I stayed with KD through the end, and it was one of the most, if not the most painful experiences of my life, and I have had a few. I am sorry to say, but I totally understand this now. Yesterday I had to put down our Australian cattle dog "molly" that we had raised from a puppy pound rescue. She was only 11 but had completely lost her sight in the last ~6 months. We had to carry her to the yard to use the bathroom because she could no longer navigate the back steps. We couldn't let her roam the house or yard any longer because she kept getting "stuck" in dangerous places like behind the stack of ladders in the back yard. we had to lock her up almost all the time because of the dangers of letting her roam free. She had come close to poking her eye out from walking into things. The part that hurts the most is that I was the "alpha-male" of the family to her. She respected me, looked up to me, TRUSTED me, and loved me. And I feel awful for being the one to make the decision to put her down. I guess the worst part is that we had no way of explaining what was happening to her as the vet administered the shots. I have had other pets die, and even watched as my childhood Doberman died in a long painful drawn out period of suffering. However that was "nature taking it's course", When you make the decision to put down a living thing that trusts you without question it is heart-wrenching. It is hard to reconcile on one had "it is better for the dog now" and "she trusted you unconditionally with her life and this is how you repay her?" on the other hand. I almost chickened out and told the vet to stop, but my teenage daughter was with us and I figured that doing this more than once would just make it worse. Goodbye Molly - we loved you. So very sorry, Stu. Our KD was also an Australian cattle dog (blue heeler), so I know that Molly was a great girl. I also know how much she meant to you - she was there every day when you got up, and she was eager to see you. She waited with bated breath while you fed her. You were her world, and bless you for it. I truly believe that dogs are one of God's most true blessings on us. They expect so very little other than food and some love, yet they give back so much more. It is ironic that I saw this thread come back up some 3.5 years after I originally posted it. I just lost my father on March 6th. It wasn't what you would call a surprise, as he had been in poor health for years, but it was unexpected. I am fortunate in that I have a large, close-knit family with many friends, so there was much support. However, in dealing with Pop's death, I thought about this thread that I posted so long ago (before you replied to it) and wondered why I was not compelled to post a similar thread about my Dad. I really felt quite terrible about it for days. Did I love that dog more than my Dad? After much thought, I think that I know why. My Dad and I had a relationship that spanned 47 years, and we spoke the same language and often. We knew that we loved each other not just because we we enjoyed seeing each other, but because we made a conscious effort to tell each other. Dogs are different. They can be conditioned to understand commands, but you can't really have a conversation with them. I would like to think that they are capable of knowing how much you love them, but they really don't understand OUR concept of love. You can pet them, give them treats, brush them all you want, but you can never really tell them how much you love them, and they wouldn't understand it if you did. Quite unfortunately, dogs only live a fraction of what we do. Some larger breeds will only make it 8 years, while others can go as long as 18 if you are lucky. So, you have brought this wonderful animal into your home. It becomes part of your family, almost like a long-term house-guest from Poland that you can only communicate with through niceties, yet you come to love without condition. It stands to reason that you are going to be pretty damned bent out of shape when you have to make the call to end their life without ever really being able to effectively communicate to them just how much you love them and why you are deciding whether they live or die. Hell, they can't even tell you if they want to live or die, nor do they understand what is happening to them. While difficult, the decision to end their suffering is painful, yet noble. Humans can learn to live with adversity - dogs are not so well equipped. Again, sorry for your loss and equally so for my rambling response, but please know that I feel for you and I know in my heart that you and Molly will meet again. |
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